This morning as usual, MI boy and I have a challenge of darting across a rather criss-crossed intersection in order to get to the next street to where we catch our bus. The lights are usually not timed right and kind of makes it difficult. Today we ended up having to wait for a light to change and we actually crossed at a corner instead of jay-walking. But on the next street, we usually cut a corner to get across the street quicker. Well this morning I saw a blue Honda van coming down the street and it appeared to me that MI boy was going to dart across quickly - after all it had come to a complete stop just before and started to cross the insection slowly. I was going to follow him and run too. But in a split second he stopped and grabbed my arm and assumed that I didn't see the van. Now, we were standing close to each other, so it wasn't like I was running to catch up to him. I assumed he saw the van but was still deciding to run across quickly. (It's not a wide street). He thought I wasn't paying attention and I had just kept on going. NOT true. I was reacting to what he was doing. Since I thought he was going to run across I might as well too. I was right next to him and yes, we would have made it across just fine. But we started arguing about it all. "I saw the van." "You didn't see the van" "Why would I run in front of a car" "You always run ahead without me and dart across Clark St." Then came the swearing. I shouldn't have started swearing but I can't stand when he assumes he knows what occurred and doesn't understand my point of view of what happened. We hardly - ever - swear at one another.  But when I get really frustrated it slips right out of my mouth. I said, "Fuck you, I saw the van." As I was saying it, I could feel my tongue stumble, trying to catch the words from spilling out...but I couldn't. He immediately said not to talk to him anymore and he turned away from me. So now I feel bad. I'm standing there - wanting to finish the argument (cause that's me) and he's standing there ignoring me (cause that's him). I would say this is the toughest part of our relationship. When we get into arguments (no matter who is at fault) somehow he always clams up on me and I just want to talk things out (sometimes yell things out - but I've gotten better at controlling the yelling- just not this morning). So now people are crowding around us at the bus stop and I can't raise my voice anymore. MI boy walked over to the newspaper box to grab a free paper and I followed him (since it was away from most of the people). I immediately apologized for swearing. But I had still wanted to talk to him about why he just dismisses my points of view. And he kept trying to walk away from me. But I held his arm and asked him to stop and just listen. Anyway, the bus was coming and we at least came to an understanding and he forgave me for swearing (which is also another hard thing for him to do...acknowledge an apology and forgive). It's hard - him being so sensitive and me being so forceful sometimes. But it makes me think that if we can get over arguments, big and small, with these differences that it only makes us stronger. I love him too much to hurt his feelings. And I believe he knows when I'm hurting too. We just show it in different ways.