The life and times of a moose.

Place: Suburban watering hole, south of Chicago in Palos Heights

Time: Approximately 12:30 a.m.

Characters:

Girl, 27 yrs old, brown curly hair, wearing cute top and jeans. 

Boy, approximately 27 as well, spiked hair, fitted blue t-shirt and jeans.

Scene 1

Setting: [Dimly lit room with a large bar. Crowded and loud with chatter and heavy metal music. Girl is standing at the bar trying to flag down the bartender in order to get a dry towel to pick up a spill. Two Boys stand on her left.]

Boy: Hey there. (friend also smiles)

Girl: Hey.

Boy: So, uhhhhh, what do you like best about me?

Girl: [In shock, stares in silence at boy like he's a fool who just used the worst pick up line in the history of dating]

Boy: [Waits for reply, then says:] Well, alright then. [Turns back to his friend with an 'I'm still the shit' attitude]

Girl: [Gets towel and flees the scene]

End Scene 1

Scene 2

Setting: [Girl and Boy meet again by the entrance to the bathroom near the 70's era cigarette dispenser with the pull knobs.]

Girl: [Stops guy from passing] Hey - you're the guy that used that really bad line on me earlier!

Boy: What line? That wasn't a line.

Girl: You've got to be kidding me - that was such a bad line.

Boy: Well what am I supposed to say?

Girl: I don't know, maybe normal questions like, "How are you?" "What's your name?" "Where are you from?" Those will usually get a girl talking.

Boy: Well that line has never failed me yet!

Girl: Oh really? That's why you're still girlfriendless and in a bar using cheesy lines?

Boy: Hey now...

Girl: No, I'm serious. Any girl hearing that line would think you're just egotistical and arrogant.

Boy: Well I guess so.

Girl: [Points finger at Boy like a mother would] Honestly if you would have just talked to me like a normal person you would have found out that I live on the northside with my boyfriend and we just bought a condo together, so I'm not really interested. And that would have been that and I wouldn't have thought you sounded like a fool. [Girl smiles]

Boy: Oh I see - so are you a Cubs Fan? [Crosses arms, ready to defend his beloved home team]

Girl: [Rolls eyes] How did I know that question was coming, just cause I live on the Northside of Chicago! I like both teams but I'm a Sox fan at heart since I grew up on the southside, Ok!?

Boy: Alright I just had to ask ya know.

Girl: So have you learned a good lesson?

Boy: I really don't see anything wrong with that line at all.

Girl: Well I'm just trying to save you from future embarrassment, I'm schooling you on girls!

Boy: Oh man, schooled! [puts hands on face like he's just been told he just went bankrupt on a game show]

[Enter cousin of girl]

Cousin: Hey, what's going on over here!

Girl: Oh nothing, come on let's go back to the group. Bye now...[gives a little wave]

Boy: Alright see ya.

[End Scene 2]