The life and times of a moose.

This is an IM conversation about a bad habit my MI boy has. He hates sorting through his mail and it's become unbareable for me as it's piling up in different spots. He has bags of mail from years ago that he has not gone through. I've tried to talk to him about it, ask him to do it, beg him to do it, and even wrote a letter about it. But I just don't see him cooperating as much as I'd like. So I was venting today to my aunt over IM about it. Here's what went down.

 

moosie2278: our entire counter top island in the kitchen is covered in his mail. I asked him while i was gone this week to clean it. And he said that it's not all his. I found like two things of mine. The rest is his - or it's stuff that has to do with our condo that just needs to be put away. But if i move or touch anything of his he'll get mad cause he can't find it later.

sarahbethmom: OMG

sarahbethmom: that is so me and UG

moosie2278: I swear if that mail is on the counter top when i get back - i'll sort out the condo stuff and the rest of his is going in another freakin bag for him to sort out later

sarahbethmom: LOL

sarahbethmom: that's how we ended up with the plastic bins

sarahbethmom: and now they get filled to capacity

moosie2278: what plastic bins?

sarahbethmom: we keep them buy the kitchen table

moosie2278: OH! those.

sarahbethmom: they're 3 stackable open bins

sarahbethmom: YES!

sarahbethmom: that's precisely why i bought them

moosie2278: i never noticed there was anything in them besides mags

sarahbethmom: his mags

sarahbethmom: cooking section of newspaper to be filed

sarahbethmom: by me

sarahbethmom: so that's my fault

sarahbethmom: then he's junk that accumulates

sarahbethmom: and now he has me doing it

sarahbethmom: don't go into the dark side val

sarahbethmom: fight it

moosie2278: I'm trying.

moosie2278: there's no reason mail should be left out over a month.

moosie2278: by then it should be paid, finished or junk

sarahbethmom: yup yup

moosie2278: He has his tax papers on the counter

moosie2278: i said - what if something spills on it. He said - don't spill anything on it.

moosie2278: What if it happens by accident I said. He said just dont' put anything over there that will spill. IT'S THE FREAKIN KITCHEN - THINGS SPILL.

sarahbethmom: UG has at least learned how to semi-file his stuff

sarahbethmom: and since he does finances i have to wait til he gets it done

sarahbethmom: you need bins

sarahbethmom: lots of bins

moosie2278: we have no where to put bins

moosie2278: i have no money to buy bins

sarahbethmom: cause if he doesn't learn now he'll never learn

moosie2278: i have no where to put bins cause he has boxes and boxes of things everywhere

sarahbethmom: hmm..dilemma...you have a psuedo-neat freak

sarahbethmom: he wants to be neat but can't

moosie2278: yes!

sarahbethmom: and he won't listen to reason

moosie2278: yes!

sarahbethmom: i feel for you

moosie2278: thanks.

moosie2278: he'll pick up lint off the floor. but will let his clothes pile up. He'll pick up a spill right away, but will leave his mail all over. He gets upset if I move his things around that are in the way, but won't find a place for them. grr.

sarahbethmom: not sure what else i can offer to you as advise

sarahbethmom: UG is a "piler" but he's got it under somewhat control

moosie2278: What's with the engineers and piling?

sarahbethmom: who knows

sarahbethmom: write a blog about it

moosie2278: grr.

sarahbethmom: sometimes i go explosive on him and we have a good argument about it and we both get into a cleaning binge and then we get back into our routine again

sarahbethmom: it's rather laughable

sarahbethmom: but at least you know that you are not alone

moosie2278: thank God

sarahbethmom: BUT...there has to be compromise

moosie2278: Oh i'm trying

sarahbethmom: that's the only way it works long term

moosie2278: That's the thing. I don't wao nag him forever to do it. I just want him to do it. One big crazy clean up day of mail and get half of it done. I know he can do it. He just gets lazy.

sarahbethmom: have you told him that you just can't live like this

moosie2278: I get lazy too. But I don't have anything that's that big of a mess to clean up. It's years of mail! Stuff I remember putting in bags when he moved out of his other apt in 2003.

sarahbethmom: that's bordering on obsessive compulsive behavior

moosie2278: I told him that it's not beneficial for the both of us to live like this. I don't want to remodel our condo - but then still have his boxes of things all over. What's the point. It'll still look bad.

sarahbethmom: you need to say that YOU can't live like that not just it's not beneficial for the both of us

sarahbethmom: that won't work

sarahbethmom: he has to know it bother you personally

moosie2278: I know he doesn't want to feel like I’m telling him what to do. I'm not trying to change him as a person. I'm trying to help him understand that he needs to fix his bad habit.

sarahbethmom: and since you both need to live there he should compromise

sarahbethmom: you are not trying to change him it's affecting your mental well being and he needs to know that

moosie2278: He knows it bothers me personally. But he just has this way of thinking that because it's his stuff, and it doesn't bother him, that he should just be able to do what he wants with his stuff.

sarahbethmom: that kind of piling crap gets on a person nerves

moosie2278: IT DOES!

sarahbethmom: and why have a nice expensive place and treat it like a hotel

sarahbethmom: he's behaving like he has a roommate

sarahbethmom: and that's not showing you the respect you deserve

moosie2278: You're right.

sarahbethmom: and when you expect the other person not to be bothered if your not bothered when you know for a fact that it's bothersome to the other person than that's just being plain selfish

sarahbethmom: it's about being in a loving, caring, giving relationship

sarahbethmom: one of the first thing one person will say about what they want for their"loved one" is to be happy and content

sarahbethmom: living with boxes and junk doesn't make you happy and content

sarahbethmom: and he's ignoring your feelings about it because you're letting him

moosie2278: YESSSS!!

sarahbethmom: BECAUSE you still living with the junk!

sarahbethmom: it's obviously bothering you and you need to do something about it

 

 

Am I crazy? What should I do?